i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
