I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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