Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
