She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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