Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
