Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
