i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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