WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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