So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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