So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
vagina is talking i cant
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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