This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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