U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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