wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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