what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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