Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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