My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
