Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
