Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
