So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
