also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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