he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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