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I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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