dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Randomize
