Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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