Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
