i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
