...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
