so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
