I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
