I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
