You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
