When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
