I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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