i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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