i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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