Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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