ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
