He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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