he shaved USA in his pubs
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Be still, my beating vagina.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
