Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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