Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
