So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
