did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
