K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
