if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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