I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
