Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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