i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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