That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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