Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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