Don't make out with my wife yet
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize