it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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