i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize