scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
