Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
