i jhust puked up my retainher.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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