You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
