Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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