im holly from the hills drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
