Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dear god my vagina.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
