so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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