just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Randomize
