capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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