I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
